I Need A Hug Today.
I say often that one of the hardest things for me to do is to transcribe my heart. It is my heart’s mind that holds most of these words, and then my brain that has to catch up to it, then my hand that must be brave and courageous enough to put on paper, or on screen, what my heart is speaking.
I have written that I love in words. In recollecting this sentiment I realize that this love is not just for those I am writing to, or have written for, but this love is first and foremost for myself. Words have always been like arms that I can wrap myself within. Words catch me when I fall, comfort me when I am on the ground or, even, when I feel like I am beneath it. Words keep me company always providing a place to weave light where there often feels to be none.
I write for roots. Words allow me to find ground when I am displaced, or when I have lost sight of myself. It was on one such night that I wrote this piece, ‘I Need A Hug Today’. I remember the exact moment, sitting in the car outside of a friend’s art show opening, trying to hold in my tears. And I remember the feelings, my heart trying to comfort me and my mind searching for a place. My mind kept leading me to the arms of a love who I’d just begun to discover no longer loved me, and perhaps never did. I could not go to him. So I came to the page in my mind…
I write first, for myself. I muster the courage to set the words down on pages, and set them free, so that if the words and someone else are ever to meet, they can find themselves in a soft, and supple embrace.
— ẹniafẹ isis